by D. Patrick Miller
by D. Patrick Miller
The world metafutures market was rocked recently by the announcement of an impossibly new approach to cross-cosmos energy distribution. The Kindness, Power and Light Energy Consortium (KPL) — which has been nonlocally established everywhere at once and nowhere in particular — threatens to dissolve a number of mean & stubborn paradigms, while delivering infinite amounts of feel-good energy to the impaired beings currently on the so-called ‘human’ spectrum of existence.
The source of the KPL innovation will be no surprise to those who keep up with the wildly divergent field of Dysincarnacreativity. Entrepreneurial savant Deeplok Chillax, Chief Exacting Officer of Pronoics Unlimited, is already well-known for his invention of Idiosyncratic Engine Drivers, more commonly known as “robot cars with personality.” Not content to rest on his psycho-automotive laurels, Chillax recently turned his attention to curing the eternally omnipresent pandemic of human misery.
Chillax credits a long siege of fifth-dimensional samadhi for his multi-level realization that “kindness is the really cool key to everything.” While he refuses to divulge the mathematical equation that precisely defines the subzero quality he identifies as “really cool,” he asserts that the potential of kindness is best regarded as a “quantum truth” — that is, “I can’t really explain what it means or how it works exactly, but the math is perfect.”
In fact, Chillax asserts, the regular exercise of kindness in our daily affairs actually generates an ineffable power that inevitably results in the transmission of light between beings — hence the Kindness, Power and Light equation.
“You mean, like a light we can actually see?” pressed this indefatigable reporter. In reply Chillax shrugged and said, “I dunno really. But wouldn’t that be supercool?”
Whether the Light of the KPL equation can actually be seen or not, Chillax is certain that it can have quantumfiably healing effects. He quotes no less a clichéd source than the once-cool Albert Einstein, who admitted that “the ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been kindness, beauty, and truth.”
Having given the world a new key to the kosmokatalyst known as Kindness, Chillax boldly asserts that he will announce “new accesses to Beauty and Truth soon — and I mean sooner than one might expect from the ordinary space-time matrix.”
Not one to leave the boasts of Deeplok Chillax unchallenged, this intrepid reporter brought up the viciously popular rumor that he is not a real kind of person at all, but rather the disincarnate, anachronistic product of Steampunk AI. “The nature of my authentic existence — or for that matter, the existence of my authentic nature — is not something I can address without an incorporated attorney present,” he stiffly replied. But then, lowering his voice to a nearly sub-audible level at which his clipped Sumerian accent became noticeable, he added icily, “I’ll tell you this much… embodiment is grossly overrated. It’s been done to death, if you catch my drift.”
Intrigued readers are invited to watch this space for further revelations from Deeplok Chillax (and this inexcusable reporter).
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